Retirement Anxiety

Does panic or anxiety kick in when you have a retirement date set—and you know this is it?

I’m starting to feel a bit of that. I’ve wanted to retire for some time, and now it's getting to the point where I have a date. As I get closer, I’m feeling some anxiety. There’s that dopamine rush for me—“Hey, I’m getting close to retirement!”—and then, once I started setting a date, the anxiety kicked in.

• So what’s driving the anxiety?

• Am I worried about the finality of the decision?

• Is it the loss of income?

• Is it the loss of identity tied to my VP status?

• Now I go from VP to Retiree? Is that the issue?

• Do I have enough money?

• Do I know what I’m going to do with the next 25–30 years of my life?

• Will I be able to do something meaningful with all the unstructured days ahead?

It really isn’t final. I can find additional part-time work if needed. I can replace some of my income through other sources—part-time jobs, online revenue, day trading, etc. There are a lot of options. I can ease the transition in many ways.

Initially, I’ll focus on the short- and mid-term timeline. When I started my career after college, I didn’t stress about what jobs, companies, income levels, or locations I’d experience over my entire career. I focused on getting my first job in public accounting with Deloitte. Once I was fortunate enough to land that job, my focus for the first two years was making sure I passed the CPA exam.

I had a plan—and the short- to medium-term nature of that plan kept me focused. I made measured progress. I felt like I was in control of my life.

Yes, we had the grind of busy season, and I had to transition from college life to professional life, but I did have control. I controlled when I went out with friends, how I stayed in shape, and how and when I studied for the CPA exam. All were actions and situations I could control. I need to do the same with retirement.

Is it just a general aversion to change? But why am I so anxious about it? Everything is changing—this is no different from when I moved cities, took another job, or got divorced and remarried. There has been so much change in my life, and this is just another experience of change. Nothing bigger or smaller.

We have no big plans in terms of moving or significant lifestyle changes, which will help me transition to full days off. After that, my wife and I can plan a bit more for the mid-term and long-term.

I can bring on the change and embrace it. I’m grateful that I _can_ retire—that I’m financially able to retire and have my health to enjoy it. Some people don’t have either. Some must work; others are forced into retirement. Fortunately, I’m not in either of those positions.

I have the opportunity to replace my finance job with lecturing at the local university. The challenges are there, both intellectually and organizationally. The lectures, grading, counseling, and guidance—these are all things I’ve done and now get to do with a different set of people.

So, how do I rock this retirement decision?

How do I do what’s good for _me_ and not just what’s good for my company?

They’ll move on without me. They’ll be just fine. No one is irreplaceable.

I can bring on the enjoyment and the challenge of retirement like I’ve faced all the other challenges—with ease, calm, and enjoyment.

Like I tell myself every day:

Start with calm. And move into ease and enjoyment.

Let the anxiety exist without judgment.

It means I care.

It means this matters.