I wonder if I am looking back too often and too much, and does that mean that I am living in the past. What is a good balance between both looking forward, reminiscing, and enjoying my past memories versus looking forward? Is this contrary to the current view of living in the moment?
With my dad passing away I find myself reliving all my past memories including those with my dad. I am having a hard time understanding and or putting these memories in focus. I keep coming back to the finality of he will never be around anymore, and I will not see him until I pass away. Is it a problem to look back, and want to enjoy what you had in the past? Is it just as unhealthy to look forward constantly? Is it just part of the grief process? Who's to say. Also what are memories anyway if not to be enjoyed?
Do you ever notice that when you look back and think about someone who has passed away you think about the positive things? Is this common? If it is such a normal occurrence, why don't we think about doing it for people that are alive? I think the world would be a much better place, and will be much more positive, if we focused on the positives in people rather than the negatives.
My looking back might also may be a coping tool for my apprehension towards the unknown of the future. Am I a little nervous of the unknown. I do like things to be in order, not many surprises, "Buttoned up". Hey that's the accountant in me. Would I live a more exciting a full life if I get outside that organized world? I believe yes.
I am also working to develop a balanced focus that builds on my experiences from the past, what the future has for me, and living in the current. This will allow me to really be grateful for what I already have. Improving this balance will also get me out of the comforts of the past and build new memories. How about you?